Tea is So Intoxicating – Mary Essex (1950)

One of the most recent offerings from the British Library women writers series is Tea is so Intoxicating by Mary Essex. If you have ever dreamed of leaving the rat race and opening a little tea shop somewhere then this novel could serve as a good reminder that these things are rarely as easy or straightforward as we may imagine. While I have never wanted to run off and open my own tea shop, I am rather fond of visiting them – and so with my fondness for novels set around this time period, this novel was right on brand for me.

Mary Essex is one of several pseudonyms used by writer Ursula Bloom – who under her various pennames wrote over five hundred novels. Those that she wrote as Mary Essex apparently more humorous and less conventionally romantic than many of her other novels. Mary Essex’s tone is deliciously humorous, she shows us her characters in all their absurdities – and doesn’t give us a neat, conventional ending. As in life – not everything is tidied up. Some marvellously colourful and well-drawn characters too make this novel a joy to spend time with.

Commander David Tompkins and his wife Germayne went to live in the village of Wellhurst before the war when they first set up home together. Now the war is over and David along with the rest of the country is ready to improve their fortunes and look to the future.

“I shall turn this into a tea-house, with lunches if requested, and shall serve pleasant meals in the orchard,” announced David, “and with my penchant for cooking I ought to make a fortune.”
“Oh dear!” said Germayne.

David and Germayne met while she was married to someone else, she had become a bit bored with Digby – and began a relationship with David. She also had a young daughter Ducks – who we are given to understand is a right little madam. Germayne leaves Digby and Ducks and sets up home with David – eventually they marry. Now after several years together and the war a couple of years behind them – David has discovered the delights of cooking. Unfortunately, he’s not very good at it – but tends to think he is. He previously worked for the Dolly Varden Cosy Tea Shops company – who provided cheap and cheerful teas for the masses. David was not involved in catering – he worked in accounts, still he persists in believing this experience will be invaluable.

The villagers of Wellhurst are not all very keen on the idea of David’s tea garden – Mr and Mrs Perch at the Dolphin are certainly a bit ruffled – as they serve a few teas in their small garden. David is less than tactful when he explains that he won’t be in direct competition with them.

“there was no question of competition at all, because he was catering only for the better-class-tea-seeker, his Cherry Tree Cot would appeal only to the more sensitive with its fine china, delicate sandwiches, and home-made cakes.”

Starting to realise perhaps, that some of the catering for his beloved tea garden might just be a bit beyond him, David employs Mimi as a cake cook. Mimi is from Vienna originally – and has quite the talent for fluttering her eyelashes at men to get what she wants – she particularly likes lots of sympathy and attention. Women are not so taken in of course, but Mimi’s presence has already impressed itself upon several local males, and irritated Germayne who can’t help but notice that in David’s eyes she can do no wrong.

Mrs Arbroath at the big house rules the village and also believes she can bend the local clergy and the doctor to her will. She dislikes the social changes that have come with the end of the war – and looks back to the world of her youth with affection. She particularly dislikes the idea of David’s teas, dreading an influx of visitors – and sets out valiantly to turn the village against the Tompkins.

While David becomes ever more obsessed with his arrangements not to mention his shaky financial projections that herald great success – Germayne harried to pieces with everything that is going on, gets ever more worn out. Then, just to add more complications, and with the Tompkins marriage clearly under severe strain, Germayne’s daughter (now sixteen) and her first husband Digby turn up.

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel – and I also liked the unconventional nature of the ending – I would love to discuss this further – but really can’t give away any spoilers. However, I wondered whether something of Mary Essex’s (Ursula Bloom) own attitudes can be glimpsed in the way she settles things for some characters and not others.

Another lovely re-issue from the British Library – and I am very invested in this series which really could have been made for me.