It is no wonder to me that Elizabeth von Arnim continues to be so loved by readers more than seventy years after her death. Christopher and Columbus may just have become my favourite of her novels and I can think of no more perfect antidote to the lockdown blues than to read this charmingly, effervescent novel.
First published in 1919 it harks back to a time when women were too often portrayed as either delicate little creatures or terrifying old harpies – but this needn’t get your feminist sensibilities in too much of a spin, because I remain convinced that Elizabeth von Arnim, always had her tongue placed firmly in her cheek. She is so adept at showing us the absurdities of people. Christopher and Columbus is witty, light, bright and deliciously cynical. If Elizabeth von Arnim had any message in this one, it is perhaps in showing the cruelty of the anti-German sentiment so prevalent on both sides of the Atlantic during WW1.
The Christopher and Columbus of the title are the two Annas; Anna-Rose and Anna-Felicitas von Twinkler, seventeen year old twins. Their father died some years earlier and as World War one gets under way, they lose their beloved mother too. Their mother was English, their father German, having spent much of their lives in Germany, they roll their rs in a way their English relatives find deplorable. In fact, their Germanness is a big issue for their English Aunt Alice’s very patriotic (idiotic) husband Uncle Arthur with whom the Annas were obliged to stay. Wishing to be rid of these enemy aliens who his friends will inevitably regard with suspicion, Uncle Arthur arranges for their passage to America (the US not yet in the war) putting money in a bank account, and providing letters of introduction to a couple of family friends – he sends them out into the world, only too glad to be rid of them. Having been protected and cosseted all their lives, they are as lambs to the slaughter, naïve and unworldly but utterly devoted to one another.
“Their names were really Anna-Rose and Anna-Felicitas; but they decided, as they sat huddled together in a corner of the second-class deck of the American liner St. Luke, and watched the dirty water of the Mersey slipping past and the Liverpool landing-stage disappearing into mist, and felt that it was comfortless and cold, and knew they hadn’t got a father or a mother, and remembered that they were aliens, and realized that in front of them lay a great deal of gray, uneasy, dreadfully wet sea, endless stretches of it, days and days of it, with waves on top of it to make them sick and submarines beneath it to kill them if they could, and knew that they hadn’t the remotest idea, not the very remotest, what was before them when and if they did get across to the other side, and knew that they were refugees, castaways, derelicts, two wretched little Germans who were neither really Germans nor really English because they so unfortunately, so complicatedly were both,–they decided, looking very calm and determined and sitting very close together beneath the rug their English aunt had given them to put round their miserable alien legs, that what they really were, were Christopher and Columbus, because they were setting out to discover a New World.”
Anna-Rose is the eldest by twenty minutes, and she takes her responsibilities as elder sister very seriously. She is small and a little more serious than her sister who is much taller and something of a dreamer. Anna-Felicitas is frequently the sister to be the most ill on board ship – but there is a definite suggestion of toughness beneath it all.
Travelling second class (Uncle Arthur really couldn’t bear to be more generous than that), and beset with sea sickness, they meet first class passenger; thirty-something entrepreneur Mr Twist. Mr Twist, the inventor of the non-tricking teapot that adorns every breakfast table in America, sees two huddled up figures alone and ill and some kind of maternal instinct he was unaware of kicks in and he immediately takes them under his wing. His plan is to offer friendship and protection to these girls who he can’t help but view as little more than children – and then hand them over to their uncle’s friends. Nothing quite works out as he had planned. The two Annas are ill-prepared for the world, they manage to upset the German women they share their cabin with – worry about the etiquette of tipping, which they have never had to do before – are socially rather awkward, having at the same time absolutely no filter. The dialogue between the two of them is one of the best things in this novel.
On arrival in New York, there is no one to meet the Annas, the friends have not materialised and Mr Twist feels duty bound to help them to at least reach the home of these friends. While Mr Twist persists in his view of the sisters being little more than children – the rest of the world certainly views them differently. They are two remarkably attractive young women of marriageable age – escorted by an unmarried man to whom they are not related – the world is suitably shocked. While Mr Twist valiantly tries to assist his new friends, who have a habit of chattering away to anyone who shows them any interest, he is causing a mild sensation everywhere they go. A comedy of errors naturally follows, and Mr Twist is obliged to abandon his home coming (his horrified mother – not the first person to view the twins with grave suspicion) and accompany them to California to look up the second set of Uncle Arthur’s friends. The Twinkler twins are frequently puzzled by American hotels, unwittingly upsetting the management of one with their new pet canary.
“That evening, while the twins were undressing, a message came up from the office that the manager would be obliged if the Miss Twinklers’ canary wouldn’t sing.
‘But it can’t help it,’ said Anna-Felicitas through the crack of the door she held open; she was already in her nightgown. ‘You wouldn’t either if you were a canary,’ she added, reasoning with the messenger.
‘It’s just got to help it,’ said he.
‘But why shouldn’t it sing?’
‘Complaints.’
‘But it has always sung’
‘That it so. And it has sung once too often. Its unpopular in this hotel, that canary of yours. Its just got to rest a while. Take it easy. Sit quiet on its perch and think’
‘But it won’t sit quiet and think.’
‘Well, I’ve told you,’ he said, going away.”
Mr Twist does everything he can to shield their Germanness from everyone they meet – while he is unconcerned by their parentage, he is aware that almost everyone else feels differently. The Annas remain oblivious to any suggestion of scandal and wide eyed with innocence and enthusiasm they throw themselves into Mr Twist’s plan for their future. These plans are inspired by the twins love of afternoon tea, and their confusion at not being able to get it anywhere. Here we also meet the hilarious Mrs Bilton, who Mr Twist employs on their behalf.
The ending is suitably adorable, and predictably romantic and I defy anyone not to finish this with a great big smile on their face.
This does indeed sound like a perfect lockdown read.
It was pretty perfect.
This does sound just the ticket for our current predicament.
It made me feel happy, all the time I was reading.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this! I have and have read it but don’t remember anything about it!
Thank you, I recommend a re-read, it’s such a joy.
Oh I do like the sound of this. Now all I need to do is track down a copy!
I got this POD VMC via Amazon, but she is available for ebooks.
As others have suggested, this sounds ideal escapism for the present times.
It suited my mood just perfectly.
I love your enthusiasm for this writer; it really comes through so clearly in your review! On a personal level, I’ve been a bit hit or miss with EvA in the past – Vera and The Enchanted April being the hits and German Garden the miss –nevertheless, this does sound very good. That canary quote is rather delightful. I can just imagine the scene playing out in my head!
This one is very cheering if you’re in the mood for cheering. Vera obviously much darker, C&C is probably lighter than The Enchanted April, but there is something more serious beneath the surface with EvA in everything I have read by her.
It’s years and years since I read this, and you have really made me want to read it again.
I can easily imagine wanting to re-read this one day.
This does sound good escapist reading… Might have to search for it. Oh, Ali, you are SUCH a bad influence!
Ha ha, sorry not sorry. We all need a book of joy to pull from the shelf at the appropriate moment.
Have found and ordered…
Oh marvellous, I am delighted.
Oh, this sounds *lovely* Ali – pure escapism! EVA is so good at that, and if it leave you wish a smile on your face it must be perfect!
Definitely good escapism with something a little more serious beneath the surface. Classic Elizabeth von Arnim.
Thank you for this post. I only know two books by Elizabeth von Arnim – Enchanted April and Elizabeth’s Garden. Both are charming and enjoyable. I think I will have to try this one now, when my current tbr is a little reduced. Thanks you.
It will be worth putting on your list for when you have reduced the tbr.
I think it’s my favourite of hers too! So funny and delightful, but with an undercurrent of seriousness. Great review, Ali.
Thank you, there is always something more serious beneath the surface with EvA isn’t there?
This sounds a complete delight! I’m trying to only read from the TBR at the moment but you’ve got me wavering, it sounds a perfect lockdown read 🙂
It’s definitely a delight. Completely understand why you just want to read from the tbr. I tried to do the same, but I have saved so much money staying at home, I spent some of it on books.
I have to read this if only to discover the nature of the non-tricking teapot!
Ha ha, yes. I think I must have dribbled tea out of those stainless steel teapots, onto clean white tea shop table cloths the length and breadth of this country.
This sounds delightful! I like to read anything and everything by Elizabeth von Arnim.
A wonderful write-up and now another book you’ve talked me into adding to the TBR mountain range.
Always happy to tell people about lovely books, really hope you enjoy it when you get to it.
This does sound brilliant, I haven’t read any von Arnim yet but she’s on my list and from the sounds of this I’m sure she has her tongue in her cheek, made me think of Barbara Pym.
If you’ve not read Elizabeth von Arnim then you have lots to look forward to.
Oh another one, she’s been quite the find Von Arnim, I’ve enjoyed the two I’ve read and this sounds just as good and very intrigued by what you say about the end, what we could all do with now, a smile to end a book!
Oh I just love Elizabeth von Arnim and she is always a good choice I think. I do think we all need a happy ending sometimes.
Yes, one to note for future reference for books that leave you with a smile on your face. Some readers need a happy ending every time I discovered once when teaching a mature student here who was a prolific reader, she told me she only read a specific genre kind of love story with happy endings and belonged to a forum with other readers who shared titles, authors etc. I don’t know why I was so surprised that it would be possible to do that, I think it’s wonderful that a community can created to enable that. She’s certainly one of the most cheerful people I know! 🙂
I love Elizabeth von Arnim and for some reason, this book is missing from my collection. Your delightful review makes me want to read it as soon as it arrives.
I would bet that you would really enjoy this too Grier.
I tried to read this one summer and just couldn’t get into it, so now I’m sure it must have been the wrong mood for it. (This happened to me with Fraulein Schmidt and Mr Anstruther too but otherwise EvA has been an instant delight, as was my second go at FS&MrA.) And I agree that there is always something darker hovering beneath, but one doesn’t need to peer too closely at it either.Thanks for the reassurance that this will delight in the future.
Perhaps you can enjoy this one another time, when more in the right frame of mind.